A Self-Important Life

 “Modesty is the colour of virtue.”

The essence of this saying by Diogenes, a Greek philosopher, has likely shaped our growing-up years. Indeed, to be modest and humble was the very definition of a talented person. The more intelligent one was the more modest one was expected to be.

Like anything though, modesty is best had when served in moderate doses. Swing too far the other way and we’ll hit the first of the building blocks that make up our personality – self-esteem.

Why is self-esteem important?

Quoting Brene Brown, an American professor and author, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

High self-esteem naturally breaks down barriers and allows us to step into vulnerability.

And what is vulnerability?

Accepting ourselves as we are at any given moment.

The more vulnerable we allow ourselves to be, the more authentic we become. And this root of being oneself stems from the value we give ourselves – in short, self-esteem. It’s okay to live a self-important life sometimes - it just may be the one thing that allows us to project confidence.

The importance of self-esteem:

The first myth that self-esteem dispels is, “Be strong when you are weak.” In other words, when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, stand strong and don’t break.

It sounds brave and warrior-like but where’s the softness? Where’s the reality of our tears and occasional meltdown? Where’s the voice which says, “You aren’t weak, you’re just human”?

When our self-worth is at its optimum, we can validate all of it for ourselves. We know instinctively that authentic expression is the way to put our best foot forward. Are you happy? Laugh. Are you sad? Cry. Are you angry? Express constructively. Are you frustrated? Speak.

It’s as simple as that.

And in embracing such simplicity, something remarkable begins to happen. We begin to view the world with the same simplicity. The reverse happens too – the world starts to view us the way we view ourselves.

 No fuss, no drama, no complications – the beauty of a simple life is indescribable. And we allow it to happen the moment we step into ourselves and own every part of ourselves with confidence and panache. Everything will begin to fall into place as if by magic; by embracing our complete selves, we are also making room for something else – life itself.

So, the next time you hear someone say, “You are strong. Hold it together,” you know where you stand.

Quoting Brene Brown again, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.” And boost our self-esteem like nothing else.

Because the instant we own our story, we have created one of those life moments that seem cine-worthy – we are walking with life and laughing right alongside it.